15.5.09

A Letter to My Family

daddy, mama,kakya,

adik nak balik boleh tak??would you be dissappointed in me if i go back home??would it look as if i am running away??

adik nak balik sebab kalo adik sedih dekat sini mama dengan kakya takdak...adik takleh nak letak kepala dkt riba mama n nanges puas-puas..

dekat sini takdak kakya atau afiq nak buat lawak bodo sampai adik tak tahan nak gelak...adik rindu time the whole family duduk dkt dapur n bersembang..kakya mcm biasa akan paling bising n would entertain us all..afiq plak would b the blur one that wont get the jokes..i miss d times when we'd b hanging round d living room n i'd have music on so loud n i'd start dancing wit kakya, ammmar n ayman..afiq wont join coz he's d macho guy, iqbal would b too shy, mama n kak tini would look on the side n juz laugh at our antics...dats wat i miss..

i don't like d person that i've become...am usually carefree n would get on wit life witout a care in the world...yes there would be problem but i don't usually let them get to me that much...nowadays, every little thing gets to me..n i am usually d cool headed one in the family..

n am starting to hate work..i realise dat i am not good at it..i am not cutout for the audit work...n i hate it...adik tak suka buat benda yang adik tak reti...i'm usually good at things but this is one thing dat i'm really bad at...n i hate leaving a bad impression...it sucks...

daddy, would it be ok if i go home??i know if i go home i wont be able to financially help mama n kakya out...ahh how i wish u were still around...usually when i have a problem u'd be d first person i'd talk to but then again when ur around i nvr really had much problem coz my daddy takes care of things...

i blame myself really for gettin into this situation..for letting my guard down..for feeling d way i feel...i never knew dat it would hurt this much..n now i realise dat wat i felt before was really real...dat is how its supposed to feel like..but is d pain now worth feeling wat i felt before??

aarggghhhh....tension larr macam nie...mama,kakya tolong..adik tak pernah mcm nie..adik taktau nak buat apa skarang?? one thing yang adik tau..adik penat sangat.. tired of pretending dat i am fine...adik letih...

love,

adik

5 comments:

  1. Salam Adik,

    Come home... Please don't feel obliged to stay on. We can work things out. Come home back to all of us here. We miss you tremendously.Any imitation of happiness is not worth it. Come back and be truly happy. We can go through anything together. I miss you awfully and I miss making jokes where people understand (seriously ok!!)...

    Daddy is proud of you and he has always been proud of you. Don't you dare think otherwise. All of us here are proud of you and what you have achieved. Take a breather and come home. I miss you a lot and we can carve a new life here together, all of us.

    Dry your tears... we'll talk and plan for your homecoming ok?

    Love,

    Kak Aya

    ReplyDelete
  2. ignore the topmost comment he's not involved in this story...so anyways...kakda pleaaaaaase come home!!!we miss you here....would you deny kakya her happiness of being with the sister she love's???



    Afiq

    ReplyDelete
  3. no more nastiness ok peeps...
    We move on and not dwell on nastiness...

    yea come home adik
    everyone misses you

    ReplyDelete

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